Change, especially unexpected change, creates an emotional reaction. For some, it comes and then because of who you are, how you think about change, what you do and the choices you make, it goes quickly. For others, difficult emotions can linger for longer periods of time.

Emotions are Natural
It is important and useful to understand that job loss creates emotional reactions which are
normal. Common emotions include: shock, anger, denial, fear, sadness or depression and finally acceptance, moving forward. Or perhaps, for some, relief and anticipation. In addition, when people are faced with change, especially dramatic change, they are thrown out of their normal routine. And this can be full of uncertainty. Nothing feels comfortable. Walking down the street, you may notice different things. Things look unusual. How people are dressed. How the sun reflects off the pavement. At home, there's perhaps a nagging feeling of discomfort. "Why can't things just get back to normal, how they were just yesterday.....?"

Being in "Transition"
On an intellectual level, people often understand that change is needed. Without change, there is not growth. In nature, the leaf falls, and the eggshell cracks. With people it is the same, except that we often don't see it that way. Loss creates difficult realities, uncertainties and emotional reactions. The natural process of transition and self renewal can be positive, but only if we see it, and use it that way.
The first step is understanding. Human transitions have three parts:
- An ending (often marked by some emotional reactions), followed by
- A period of , perhaps, some confusion and distress ("neutral zone"), leading to
- A new beginning with a commitment and excitement about the future

Ideas for Managing Your Emotions
Outlined below and on the following page are seven steps to help manage emotions and change, and to begin building toward your future success.

Step One: Understand Your Feelings
It is natural to feel emotions related to job loss. And it may take some time to work through them. There is also another, positive side of these feelings that everything is slightly "off." Your mind is thinking differently. You have an opportunity, which does not happen often, to think about your career and life plans from a different perspective, and to recommit to or change your direction, so that you are able to achieve what you want out of your work and life.

Step Two: Make Positive Choices
Recognizing that you have some control over your own life is important in dealing with change. If you can figure out something that will satisfy you even a little right now, you are much better off than if you wasted your efforts to try and control everything now. And as you gain some small degree of control, you gain confidence. Although you may not feel like trying to change your behavior, you always can if you so choose. And when you do, if what you do is satisfying and positive, you will almost always feel better. It is also useful to think about what positive things you have done in the past to successfully get through difficult change.

Making positive choices about what to think and do will affirmatively impact your emotional state. Some suggested positive behavior choices include:
- Set in place temporary structures such as scheduling your week and making "to do" lists.
- Practice good time management, avoiding procrastination.
- Explore the other side of change. What are the positive outcomes that will result from the changes you are experiencing?
- Find a positive person with whom to talk.
- Exercise and work on stress reduction.
- Join a support group.

Step Three: Understand Change is Everywhere
We all know change is everywhere. So if you expect it, then you will be less surprised! Some
people are naturally more comfortable with change than others. Learn from them, and learn that change is impacting how people live day-to-day in the world of work. Also, remember, there is always more than one way to get something done. Believing there is only one way may lead you to resist change.

Step Four: Focus on What You Want
To take control of your life, and to be satisfied and happy, you have to muster the courage to go after what you want. What's your dream? What do you want in your next job? For some, it is one of the most difficult life questions. For others, it has always been clear. Most of us are in-between — not always sure, but often thinking about our dreams for the future. And on the positive side, getting close to our goal is good, because there will be satisfaction in using some of our talents and interests.

Step Five: Don't let your feelings Rush You
It is natural to want to hurry through this process. For most, the time in the "neutral zone" is uncomfortable. And for some, painful. Few of us deal well with high amounts of uncertainty. The best advice — although it will at times be uncomfortable: Don't let your feelings rush you to a premature and perhaps unsatisfactory conclusion to the job search. Take some time to reflect on and think clearly about your future.

Step Six: Build Confidence
Choose small and achievable activities in which you can be successful. Don't try things you absolutely cannot do. Regaining control, at least over some parts of your life, is an important step to restoring or gaining confidence. Small things count. But remember, you can only control yourself. Concentrate on doing positive activities that you can be successful in accomplishing, that help you feel more in control. Exercise. Vacuum the floor. Walk the dog. Reorganize your home office. Change the oil in your car. These are examples of positive activities that can make you feel better.

Step Seven: Commit to Implement, When You Are Ready
Avoidance. It strikes almost everyone during this transitional time. The uncertainty and feelings of loss and not having control may lead to avoiding activity. And some avoidance can work for you. It will give you time to think and to develop a strategy. As pointed out earlier, you can begin taking action too quickly, without having fully thought through your strategy. But prolonged avoidance becomes a waste of time and a barrier to achieving what you want.

Taking action requires a conscious choice. It's called commitment. To go for it. To put your head down and charge ahead to obtain what you want. You will know when it is time. You will feel it. It is important to initiate action at that time, not to avoid activity. Avoidance will serve only to erode your confidence, because you know you are not using your time wisely. Choosing avoidance for too long can create problems for you during this process.